Tales From the Newsroom: Mustang blues
The day I drove my classic muscle car into someone’s front yard at 5 mph
I read somewhere once that the two things a man should never go cut-rate on are Scotch and cologne.
The author might have added auto-theft prevention devices.
In the late 1980s, I was a reporter for the Chula Vista Star-News and was interviewing an elementary school principal for a feature story. I had parked my ’67 Mustang — a once gold, by then brown fastback — across the street from the school, and carefully locked the steering wheel with my cheap, off-brand Club knockoff.
The name-brand Club (as shown above from the manufacturer’s website) mounted onto your steering wheel and had a long nub sticking out with a rubberized end so that a thief couldn’t turn the steering wheel far before the Club would catch on the driver’s side door or console.
It was also easily seen by any would-be thief looking through the window, thus encouraging them to find easier fare.
I didn’t want to spend the $60 or so a Club cost back in 1988, but the local auto-parts store carried a Club-like knockoff for about $20. This one, as seen above, looped through the steering wheel on one end, then had another hook that went under the brake pedal. The effect was the same as with the more expensive Club — a car thief wouldn’t be able to turn the wheel.
Or, as I found out the hard way, apply the brakes.
On top of that, unlike the more expensive Club, the knockoff (although there is now a Club-branded version of the brake-pedal device) isn’t easily seen by would-be thieves — or reporters in a rush.
The interview with the school principal complete, I came back out to drive back to the office and type up my notes. I hopped in the car, and distracted by the interview I’d just done and the other assignments still awaiting me, forgot completely about my new anti-theft device. I put the key in the ignition, shifted the transmission to drive, and gave a little gas to pull out into the residential street.
Almost immediately, I realized the club knockoff was still looped through the steering wheel — I tried to brake, but the loop under the brake pedal prevented that too. Not only could I not brake, but every time I pushed down on the brake pedal, it pulled the security bar down just a little on the steering wheel sounding the car horn.
I shifted back into neutral, turned the car off and pulled the key ring out of the ignition desperately trying to get the key for the anti-theft bar into that lock so I could remove it and regain control. All the while I’m applying brake pressure because it worked a little — just not enough to stop the car completely.
So there I am — rolling down a residential street at about 4 or 5 mph, veering slightly to the left, my horn blaring while I’m furiously trying to unlock the security bar.
There was a car parked on the opposite side of the street right where I was heading. While trying to unlock the bar and applying what brake pressure I could, I was also able to ever so slightly steer, and was able to pull just enough left to avoid hitting that other car — but in the process drove right into a giant juniper bush in someone’s front yard.
Once the car had stopped, I shifted back into park, and finally unlocked the security bar.
As I’m doing this, an older neighbor who had watched the whole episode walked over to see if I was okay. Once I unlooped the security device from the brake pedal and steering wheel and he realized what had happened he had a pretty good laugh.
And then he asked why hadn’t I simply used the emergency brake once I had the car in neutral?
Sigh ...
I backed the car out of the yard, and we inspected the juniper bush — which was torn up pretty good, a big chunk stuck in the Mustang’s grille.
After inspecting his neighbor’s bush, he said there was no real damage, that he’d help her trim it, and I shouldn’t worry any more.
I’m pretty sure he was still laughing as he waved while I drove off toward the office.
-30-
So I’m like wondering why you shifted into neutral and removed the key rather than leaving in gear and turning off the ignition.
Good story!